


Pyre

by mveloc



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-10
Updated: 2015-03-10
Packaged: 2018-03-17 05:29:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3517178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mveloc/pseuds/mveloc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>"I slept with someone."</em><br/>My response to all the Shay-induced drama.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pyre

**Author's Note:**

> **Author's Notes:** Soooo this is my response to the whole Shay drama that seems to be unfolding. Personally, I’m all for Shaysima. I definitely think Cophine is endgame, but if Shaysima will stir the pot a little bit and ultimately help Cosima and Delphine to become stronger, then I’m game. I’m also super tempted to write a Shaysima prequel piece to this fic, but I’m really big on capturing a character’s voice properly and since we don’t actually have anything to go on with Shay other than a vague description, I’m not sure how I feel about it. If you guys are interested, let me know. Maybe I’ll take the plunge anyway. The title is a reference to the song of the same name by Son Lux. Definitely check it out. Enjoy!

“I slept with someone.”

 

The shot rings out, catching her off guard and leaving an impossibly sharp ball of wire lodged in her throat that’s excruciating to swallow. Her eyes go wide and her mouth goes dry as her tongue darts out to wet her lips in a desperate attempt to find moisture, but all she finds is a bitter, yet metallic taste; a vaguely familiar one that’s reminiscent of the last time they kissed. If she had known that that instance would have been their last, she would have been sure to hold her just a little closer, _linger just a little longe_ r. 

 

Who would have thought that heartbreak tastes of copper and chamomile and San Francisco?

 

“Shay?” she finally musters.

 

The clone’s head drops, unable to look her in the eyes.

 

“Uh... yeah.”

 

She releases a trembling breath and clamps her eyes shut, trying to make sense of the brunette’s unfolding confession. She tries to clear her head, but all she sees are images of the two together, of someone who isn’t her touching Cosima, of Cosima kissing another person with all the tenderness that’d been reserved for _her_. 

 

She’d known that Shay was a part of Cosima’s life now, that the spunky and eccentric young healer who had seemingly come out of nowhere was spending a great deal of time with her girlfriend-- _ex-girlfriend_ \-- and she’d known that there was some strange chemistry between the two. She had witnessed it the first and only time she’d met Shay, when she’d come over to speak with Cosima in private and found herself stumbling into a movie night/”not-date” between the two. They had been huddled up closely on Felix’s couch, two glasses of wine resting on the coffee table, and Delphine had tried to remain civil, to restrain her bubbling jealousy, but all she could do as Shay introduced herself with a far-too-open smile and a bounce in her step was accept her welcoming hand with a forced smile and a calculatingly firm grip. 

 

She nods.

 

It isn’t a gesture of understanding, merely one of forced acceptance.

 

“Okay.”

 

Cosima looks up from the floor, baffled.

 

“What? That’s it?”

 

Delphine sighs, shrugging. 

 

“What would you like me to say, Cosima?”

 

There’s a lot of things she’d like to say, but she solemnly reminds herself that it’s no longer her place to say them. She lost the right when Cosima had shed her like that oxygen tank when she was finally able to breathe unassisted. There had been tears and raised voices on both sides, pleas and denials. She was naive enough to think that maybe Cosima would be happy to hear of her new promotion, that she’d see it as a great opportunity, just as the European did. After everything that had happened with Kira and Sarah, Cosima instead saw it as another trap to be lured into and she’d made the painful break.

 

“I can’t do this anymore,” she had said, voice quaking. “I can’t... I can’t put the others at risk because of you. _I won’t.”_

 

“Cosima, if you would just _trust me_ \--”

 

“And why should I?” she had shouted. “Every time I do that, it backfires on me!”

 

Then, an eerie silence befell the room before the clone took a steadying breath and dropped the bomb that would shatter her world, leaving her trudging through a nuclear wasteland with no sense of direction. 

 

“I think... I think we’re done.”

 

Her mouth fell open ever-so-slightly and her eyes glossed over.

 

“Cosima...”

 

“Please. Don’t.”

 

They’d stood there, staring at each other with trembling limbs and heaving chests before Delphine quickly darted out of Felix’s loft in an attempt to maintain some of her dignity. She wasn’t sure if her promotion and position as Cosima’s monitor made their situation better or worse; she was forced to remain in the clone’s life, although not in the capacity she wanted. Despite being annoyed by their situation, Cosima reluctantly accepted it and the two found themselves conversing only when the science brought them back together.

 

“I don’t know. I just figured you’d be...”

 

She pauses, searching for the word.

 

“Upset?” Delphine offers.

 

Cosima shifts uncomfortably in place, like a child under scrutiny.

 

“Yeah. I guess,” she mumbles. “Pissed off or something.”

 

She withdraws her arms into the sleeves of her oversized cardigan and crosses them over her chest, folding into herself. She makes herself smaller, almost unassuming, as her eyes scan the floor in front of the doctor, her knee-high boots, the large sliding door directly behind her, even her golden locks-- which have since lost their curls in her absence. They settle everywhere _but_ the blonde’s face, unable to meet her gaze.

 

“Are you?” she asks, her curiosity getting the better of her.

 

Delphine laughs at the ridiculousness of the question.

 

“What?” Cosima asks with a furrowed brow.

 

The doctor shakes her head.

 

“How can you even ask me that?”

 

“Well, I just--”

 

“Of course I’m...”

 

She stops herself.

 

Just _what_ _is_ she?

 

There’s a hurricane of emotion raging through her, making it difficult for her to pin down a singular one. She’s angry that some other woman has encroached upon her territory, only then she remembers that Cosima isn’t her property at all (despite what DYAD says) and she feels guilty for her anger and possessiveness. And then she remembers that sex involves two willing participants and she realizes that Cosima must want Shay, must have feelings for her, must have moved beyond whatever they had and her heart breaks all over again and the depression settles in.

 

“I should go.”

 

She doesn’t recognize her own voice, but as she turns to leave, Cosima’s pulls her back.

 

“You’re leaving?”

 

She freezes.

 

“Why would I stay?”

 

The brunette doesn’t have an answer. 

 

Her head drops again and she’s staring at her feet, pondering just why she called out to the blonde to stall her exit in the first place. When their breakup was still fresh, the wounds still raw, Cosima had avoided the doctor at every possible opportunity. When she did find herself in the midst of the European, she tried to be as curt as possible. Every second spent in Delphine’s presence in her newly found ex-girlfriend position was equal parts suffocating and confusing. No one really seemed to understand that; Sarah was busy with her usual chaos while Alison had damn near gone AWOL from Clone Club with Donnie and the kids. There was Felix, and while he could be insightful and supportive at times, he never did have much love for Delphine and was happy to see the dreadlocked clone be rid of her French monitor. 

 

Then there was Shay.

 

Shay was bubbly and sharp and sympathetic.

 

Shay didn’t know Delphine, didn’t quite know the full history, but she actually listened to Cosima. Not only did she listen and reassure, but she offered a sense of comfort. When she was with Shay, her life didn’t revolve around being a clone wrapped up in a thirty year-old conspiracy. She could smile and laugh and not feel guilty for doing so while her sisters were submerged in their own crises. Shay not only appreciated her wit and her quirks, she celebrated them. Shay was light and easy and a breath of fresh air after being stifled for so long.

 

But Shay wasn’t Delphine.

 

At first, she thought this was a good thing. Delphine was everything that was bad for her and Shay was her complete opposite, so that must have meant that Shay was what she needed. And maybe she was, as she learned how to stand on her own two legs again after being continuously confined ever since she’d found herself in the midst of DYAD and disease. 

 

Maybe Shay was exactly what she needed at that particular moment in time.

 

But as their lips met and the spirited blonde led her backwards onto her bed, she couldn’t help but feel like something about the entire encounter was... _off_. She’d tried to shake it from her mind as she felt Shay on her, in her, but all she could think of was how Delphine’s hands were marginally softer, how her lips were slightly more skilled, how Shay didn’t whimper those breathy French sighs as she came. And as they lay there in her new lover’s bed, entangled in one another, she realized that their bodies didn’t quite fit the same way. 

 

“You’re the one who wanted this to be over, Cosima,” Delphine speaks, turning back around to address the brunette head on. “I think you just made that quite clear.”

 

Cosima shakes her head.

 

“I never said that.”

 

She never _wanted_ it to be over.

 

Not for a second.

 

It just _had_ to be.

 

“ _Pardon?”_

 

With her head towards the ground, her voice is muted and it fails to reach the French woman’s ears. Delphine cocks her head, waiting for Cosima to repeat herself as the clone works up the courage to lift her head again and meet her monitor’s eyes for the first time that night with a piercing intensity.

 

“I didn’t say that I _wanted_ us to be over.”

 

Pupils dilate. 

 

A surge of electricity travels through the air between two sets of gleaming eyes, pulling them towards each other. They come together with enough force to knock any idea of goodbye far from their heads and out of reach, teeth clashing as they find the proper angle, reacquainting themselves. The doctor’s hand snakes up Cosima’s spine until it’s tightly gripping her dreads, forcing her head back and her mouth to open a little more, giving the blonde’s tongue greater access. They kiss like the ocean, wave after wave flooding and rocking and crashing against one another until they’re left in a disorienting state of desire where fingers find hems and buttons and zippers like lightning finds a rod to strike, all flashy and crackling with purpose.

 

They stumble back towards Felix’s bed, lips never detaching as Delphine lowers Cosima until her back is pressed flat against familiar red sheets and the blonde is hovering over her, arms planted on either side of the clone’s head. They part, taking a moment to drink in each other’s expressions through hooded lids and the blonde’s draping hair, the ends of which tickle at Cosima’s face. The spectacled woman crinkles her nose at the sensation, unaccustomed to the newfound length and straightness. She reaches up to brush the tresses away, gathering them in her fist and holding them securely to the back of the European’s skull. Delphine is staring at her so intensely then, unobstructed, and Cosima feels a tremor roll through her body. She cranes her neck up and brushes her bottom lip against Delphine’s upper one, gentle and teasing, eliciting a flutter of lashes and an airy sigh. When Delphine opens her eyes again, she brings a hand to cup her beloved’s face as she presses their lips together more forcefully and drags a moan from the back of Cosima’s throat. When she lowers her body and their skin is finally flush together, she finds a moan of her own and takes a moment to revel in the contact before she pulls her lips away and begins descending down the column of Cosima’s neck.

 

Cosima sighs, threading her fingers through Delphine’s hair as the doctor licks and kisses at her throat, knowing full well how sensitive the area is. As she continues to worship with her mouth and garner tiny sighs of appreciation, her eyes catch a glimpse of a slight disturbance and she finds herself frozen in place.

 

It’s faint, but it’s there. 

 

A light greenish-yellow hue marked against Cosima’s skin, where another pair of teeth and lips have branded her. Cosima makes a noise of confusion, an inquiry into the blonde’s sudden hesitation and when she glances down to see what Delphine’s eyes are fixated on, she finds herself at a loss. Delphine traces the mark with her index finger, mesmerized, an unnameable expression on her face while Cosima holds her breath and prepares for a series of possible reactions. 

 

“Sorry,” she expels, a half-whisper, half-mumble that just barely reaches Delphine’s ears.

 

She hadn’t been at the time, when Shay’s teeth were sinking into her. She had no reason to be. Her and Delphine were no longer together and she had every right to sleep with whoever she chose. And yet, with Delphine there, holding her and kissing her and loving her, she wonders how she ever thought that she’d be able to make a clean break from her foreign lover, how she ever believed that she could give herself to another person and not feel guilty when the ghost of her monitor’s touch was still very much present and alive.

 

Delphine brings her lips to the blemish and lingers, as if the tenderness alone could will away the mark, the painful reminder of the passage of time, of the many wounds that have healed in their absence from each other and the others that have festered in their wake. They both knew the reality of their situation; a simple kiss could not erase whatever words had been said, what trust had been broken and damage had been inflicted, but at least they could forget about it momentarily.

 

With surprising strength, the dreadlocked woman manages to hoist herself forward and flip them so that Delphine is now trapped beneath her. In most of their past encounters, Delphine always preferred to be the one in control, but she seems more than willing to concede and forfeit herself over to the witty young scientist. Cosima catches her eyes, nuzzling the taller woman. Delphine smiles in response, slipping a thigh between Cosima’s.

 

“You’re wet,” she says breathlessly, shocked by the discovery.

 

Cosima laughs as she removes her glasses from her face, placing them on the side table before she returns her attention back to the gorgeous French woman beneath her.

 

“Are you really that surprised?” she asks with a toothy grin.

 

Before Delphine can formulate an answer of her own, Cosima is descending down her jawline, her neck, down to her breasts where she captures a perky pink nipple between her lips and begins to tease. Delphine expels a long, undulated moan as the clone takes more of her breast in her mouth, sucking fervently. One hand reaches to toy with the other, tweaking and encircling the puckered nub of flesh all the while grinding her wetness down against Delphine’s thigh.

 

“Nobody does what you do to me,” she whispers throatily against damp skin upon releasing Delphine’s breast from her mouth.

 

She continues to descend lower, lower, until she’s prying Delphine’s thighs apart and settling between them. Delphine hides her face in her hands, her entire body trembling. It’s been so long since she’s been touched like this, since she’s felt so close to Cosima, she’s afraid she might break instantly and ruin their reunion.

 

“ _No one_ ,” Cosima emphasizes.

 

She finally buries her face in the juncture of the blonde’s thighs and Delphine cries out, one hand slamming to her side to grip a fistful of sheets. She can feel Cosima smirking against her at the response, but the clone doesn’t let her cockiness interfere with the task at hand. She drags her tongue up and down with painstakingly slow precision through Delphine’s wet folds, her taste and scent stirring up images from her memory. She can tell that the doctor is primed and ready to come without warning by the way her muscles twitch involuntarily, her thighs and abs drawn taut as she steals labored breaths when her brain reminds her lungs to do so. She didn’t think it would be so easy to work the blonde into such a state, but then she reminds herself that it’s been so long since they’ve really been able to touch each other like this and she supposes that it isn’t so unusual.

 

She decides to give Delphine what she’s craving most and her tongue finds the doctor’s clit, encircling it gently but steadily. She knows how sensitive Delphine is so she’s both careful and attentive as her tongue continues to dance. This was always her favourite part of sex with her monitor. She loved it even more than she loved feeling Delphine’s fingers deep inside of her, or their slick skin sliding together; the very idea that she could spread the blonde apart, that Delphine was willing to be so vulnerable and open, almost made her forget about all of the deceit. It was impossible for Delphine to be dubious with her head buried between her legs, tasting her, invoking pleasure. There were no lies between them, no presumptions or pretenses. 

 

There was just give and take, wanting and having. 

 

_“Dieu!”_ Delphine cries out, tears beginning to form in the corners of her eyes as the tension in her body swells and becomes intolerable.

 

Cosima coaxes her with her own groans and grumbles of appreciation, lapping away as the wetness becomes more abundant. She looks up into the face of her lover, Delphine’s eyes wide and glossy as her jaw hangs open, filling Felix’s loft with the sound of her imposing pleasure. When she looks down to see Cosima’s firm gaze locking with her own, her world implodes. Cosima guides her through the fire with a few more eager laps, delighting as she watches the French woman’s body contort and lose control in a fit of angles and those breathy French sighs. When she relents, she remains between the doctor’s legs, resting her head against the blonde’s lower abdomen as the two catch their breath and regain their composure.

 

_“Ne me quitte pas.”_

 

Cosima looks up, surprise written on her face. Delphine had barely whispered the words but in her heightened state, she’d been able to hear them with perfect clarity. Her French is quite limited to a few words that she had learned and common phrases that had been ingrained into her brain from her time with the doctor, but she finds herself unfamiliar with the uttered phrase. Delphine has never said it to her before and as she wonders what it means, she knows it must be heavy because she’d been able to detect the desperation in her voice.

 

“What did you say?” she asks.

 

Delphine considers translating, even opens her mouth to do so, but when she finds Cosima’s eyes again, she closes it instead and replaces it with a smile, shaking her head in dismissal at her previous comment.

 

“Nothing,” she says softly. “ _Venir ici.”_

 

Cosima crawls up the length of her lover’s body, stopping once they’re eye-to-eye, breast-to-breast. Delphine guides the clone’s head back down with a gentle hand and and reclaims her lips with her innate tenderness.

 

“I’ve missed you, _mon amour.”_

 

“Yeah. Me, too,” Cosima smiles.

 

_“Vraiment?”_

 

Cosima’s expression becomes more serious.

 

She thought she’d just made her pining for the doctor abundantly clear, but she can tell that there are still doubts in Delphine’s mind. Not that she can really blame her, seeing as how she’d been the one to cast her monitor aside and then subsequently confess to sleeping with another woman. 

 

“I have,” she reassures.

 

Delphine offers her another smile, but Cosima sees through the placating gesture. She frowns, tilting her head away from an oncoming kiss so that the French woman’s lips graze against her cheek instead. Delphine stares up at her, confused, and Cosima decides that she needs to confront the issue head on.

 

“She wasn’t you.”

 

Delphine goes stiff beneath her.

 

“I was... pissed off,” she clarifies. “At you.”

 

Delphine draws her bottom lip between her teeth and chews nervously out of habit. Cosima can tell that she’s uncomfortable, but these are words that need to be said. She cups the doctor’s face in her hands, caressing her softly.

 

“I thought that you were choosing DYAD over me and I... I don’t know. I couldn’t stand the thought of them taking even more from me. I didn’t think I could do it anymore. I was so tired, I just had to let you go.”

 

She’s silent then, waiting for a response from her lover. Delphine’s expression is difficult for her to discern, which is unusual. The blonde has always been fairly easy to read but in the moment, her expression is one that Cosima has never really seen before.

 

“Do you... have feelings for her?” Delphine finally speaks, breaking the silence.

 

Cosima considers the question.

 

Does she have feelings for Shay?

 

She has many feelings.

 

“She’s a good person. A good friend,” she replies.

 

Delphine continues to stare up at her, waiting for the other shoe to drop. She knows there’s more to it than what the brunette is telling her and Cosima tries to think of the best way to explain, to make her hazy thoughts surrounding the entire situation more clear to the European and to herself.

 

“I thought I might. That I could,” she confesses. “I sorta wanted to. I mean, I tried to. It seemed like it would be so easy. She doesn’t drive me half as crazy as you do.”

 

She stops there, considering her next words carefully.

 

“But...?” Delphine asks expectantly.

 

Cosima smiles.

 

“But it’s _just that_. She doesn’t drive me half as crazy as you do.”

 

Delphine’s smile is genuine, as well as her laugh. She leans forward and presses a kiss to Cosima’s cheek.

 

“Shay’s... nice. Being with her is nice. But it’s never felt like anything more than that, you know? Not like it does with you,” she tries her best to explain. “We’ll sit together and smoke a joint and talk about our awkward teenage years and it’s okay. It’s good. It’s easy.”

 

She had explained this to Shay earlier that day, right before she had called Delphine over so that they could have a conversation about it. It turns out the feisty young blonde had picked up on the strange vibes post-coital, as well.

 

“Look, Cosima. I get it,” she had said with a smile. “I like you. You’re great. You’re more than great, you’re one of a kind. I know you like me, too.”

 

“I do,” Cosima had confessed, staring down into her tea.

 

“I like you and you like me and I like that we like each other, but I know this isn’t... it’s not what you want. Not really.”

 

“Shay...”

 

“Just let me finish, okay?”

 

Cosima had looked up from her tea, meeting the blonde’s stare. She hadn’t expected Shay to be so rational about all of this. When they’d first met, she’d told Cosima that she was a “being of emotion,” whatever the hell that meant. She acted with her heart and soul, which didn’t always communicate with her brain. She expected Shay to be hurt or perhaps frustrated, but there they were, drinking tea in Moonbean just like they always did, any awkward tension that Cosima initially expected notably absent. 

 

“I wanna go on liking each other and if we’re gonna do that, then we have to be honest,” Shay had said.

 

Cosima had nodded.

 

“You still love her.”

 

It wasn’t so much an accusation as it was a mere statement of a fact. Cosima had wanted to deny it, even opened her mouth to do so, but as she tried to articulate herself, all the words she knew felt disingenuous.

 

“I--”

 

“It’s okay. I know you do,” Shay had said softly. “I can tell by the way you talk about her, or by the way you _don’t_ talk about her. And I could tell when we were in bed. You looked up at me and it was like you expected to see her.”

 

Cosima had frowned, her head dropping a little lower until it hung in shame.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“You don’t have to apologize,” Shay had replied, reaching across the table to find Cosima’s hand.

 

Cosima had clamped her eyes shut and shook her head.

 

“It isn’t fair. I never wanted... I didn’t mean to use you, Shay. I never wanted to be _that_ person.”

 

“You didn’t. And you’re not.”

 

Shay had been so good to her, so _right_ for her, and there they were having a conversation about how after everything, she was still pining for the duplicitous doctor who’d broken her heart and her trust, time and time again.

 

“We tried, okay? We tried and it wasn’t there,” Shay had simply stated. “But you’ve basically become my best friend and you’re the smartest person I know and what I’m trying to say is... let’s be friends, okay? Let’s be friends so that when you sort your shit out with Madame Goldilocks-- or when you don’t and you inevitably come bitching to me about her again-- it won’t have to be weird.”

 

The smallest grin had found its way to Cosima’s face.

 

“Mademoiselle.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Delphine’s not married,” Cosima had corrected her. “She’s _Mademoiselle_ Goldilocks.”

 

“For now.”

 

Cosima had laughed out loud at the comment. 

 

“You lesbians and your U-Hauls,” Shay had said, waving her hand dismissively. “You guys’ll be married by the end of the year. But you’ll adopt a small coven of cats before that. They’ll be the flower children at your wedding.”

 

She traces Delphine’s jawline with the tip of her middle finger, smiling.

 

“But with _us?”_ she begins. _“_ We go to work and we deal with madness every single day. We almost never see eye-to-eye and it’s infuriating. But we fight and we science and we hate each other sometimes and we love each other when we don’t. It’s never easy and it’s not always nice, but it’s... it’s _us._ You know?”

 

Delphine’s smile expands.

 

“ _Oui_. I do.”

 

Coisma’s words resonate with her. 

 

It wasn’t always easy to love Cosima. Circumstance made their relationship difficult, trust made it fractured at best. They’d nurtured their romance on a steady diet of danger and disease and in their months apart, the blonde had wondered if it was ever a real relationship to begin with. She never doubted the feelings behind it, but if things had been different, if they’d met like normal couples did, would they still have been together? Would they have even gotten together in the first place? 

 

Perhaps.

 

But then, if they had met like most normal couples and lived like most normal couples, would the pull have been this strong? Would they have been able to find their way back to each other again after being forced apart for so long?

 

“I like us,” Delphine says absently, toying with a dread.

 

Cosima hums, nodding in agreement.

 

“I like us, too,” she retorts. “Most of the time.”

 

The brunette’s affirmation sends a wave of heat through her and she sits up very suddenly, momentarily startling the brunette who is now straddling her lap. Cosima wraps her arms around Delphine’s neck to hold herself in position and their lips are mere inches apart, breath hot on each other’s faces and eyes locked in a molten gaze.

 

“How about right now?” Delphine rasps, a seductive smirk sprawling across her face as Cosima squirms in her lap.

 

“I like us _very much_ right now,” Cosima confesses, finding her own grin.

 

One of the doctor’s hands slowly sinks lower, finding the wetness between her lover’s thighs and delighting in the gasp of pleasure and surprise she draws out. Cosima’s eyes flutter and close, hershort nails biting into Delphine’s shoulders.

 

“Do you?” the blonde goads.

 

Cosima nods, licking her lips in anticipation. She leans forward to find Delphine’s lips but the European denies her, drawing her head back. There’s no time for confusion, however, as Delphine’s free hand rises to capture Cosima’s jaw in a firm grip, holding her still. She leans forward on her own accord, tongue tracing the clone’s bottom lip teasingly, still denying her a kiss. Cosima groans, her thighs clenching.

 

“Show me.”

 

As soon as the command is issued, Delphine is surging forward and dominating the shorter girl’s mouth. The kiss is brutal, thorough, and it sends Cosima’s eyes rolling back into her skull. Shay’s kisses had been sweet and tender, they lacked the fervency of one who’s tasted death. Cosima knew the taste all too well and Delphine knew it, too, from its remnants on Cosima’s lips when they kissed. But this isn’t about death, about the clock ticking down and the light going out. This is about life, about the brand new lease they’ve both been given. This is about reaching the other side after a long and uncertain journey across the most perilous bridge above the most turbulent waters.

 

When Delphine’s fingers enter her, Cosima can’t stop herself from crying out. One at first, two following very closely behind and the third has her whining, has her meeting every one of the blonde’s thrusts with a buck of her hips. She rides her lover’s hand steadily and Delphine’s lips find her ear, her breath hot and sticky like a San Francisco summer in the smog, but this is a different kind of home that her heart’s been denied for far too long. 

 

“Show me how much you like us,” Delphine whispers, her teeth tugging at Cosima’s earlobe.

 

The wetness dripping down her fingers is ample proof, as well as the walls throbbing and clenching around them, but she wants to hear Cosima lose control. She traces the shell of Cosima’s ear with the tip of her tongue, then draws her lobe into her mouth and begins to gently suck.

 

_“Montrez-moi ton amour.”_

 

Cosima’s thighs are shaking and she whimpers, her back arching. Delphine remembers all the tell-tale signs of nearness in her lover and she speeds up the pace of her thrusts, fingers curling inside to stroke against the spongey part of her frontal wall. Cosima’s spine becomes a near-perfect arch, her breasts jutting out and into the doctor’s face as she twists her body in such a way to find a more complimentary angle, a more complete depth. Delphine cannot resist temptation and she lowers her head, taking a nipple in her mouth. Cosima has filled out again. She’d lost so much weight that the blonde was terrified she’d eventually collapse into herself like a dying star, but she’s regained her supple curves, her congenital softness and the doctor blissfully buries herself in it. 

 

“ _Jesus_ ,” Cosima groans, huffing and clutching to her lover. “Delphine, I can’t--”

 

She’s on her back, Delphine pulling her apart and hiking her legs up until she’s splayed out like some sort of exhibit, the blonde unrelenting. Cosima grabs one of Felix’s pillows, burying her face in it to try to muffle her pleasure but the French woman will have none of it, reaching up to pull the pillow away.

 

“Don’t hide from me,” she pants, her thumb finding Cosima’s clit and toying with it.

 

Their bodies are slick with sweat from the exertion and they slide against each other with all the easiness of breathing, Delphine coaxing Cosima to the edge with both her fingers and her muttered words, thick and French in the shorter girl’s ear. The tightness starts in her belly, searing its way through the rest of her nerves until her entire body is ignited from the soles of her feet to the tips of her fingers. She releases a high-pitched keening sound, all of the tension releasing at once with Delphine’s fingers still buried deep within her. The rest of the world fades out, sinking somewhere into the background as she lets herself get swept up in the tide of her orgasm, losing herself amongst its waves like a sailor lost at sea.

 

_“Je t’aime,”_ Delphine coos, nuzzling Cosima’s face.

 

She repeats her declaration over and over, slowly guiding Cosima back with her voice. The clone looks up at her, dewy-eyed and rapt with love. She knows it isn’t perfect, she’s fully aware of her lover’s other obligations, but she’s so tired of fighting. She doesn’t see the point when she knows how it’s going to end.

 

With Delphine.

 

Always with Delphine.

 

“I love you, too,” she confesses.

 

Delphine believes her this time.

 

Their kiss is tender, the European stroking the side of her dreadlocked lover’s face as their lips slowly confirm their affection. She’ll never admit it, but she’s secretly grateful to Shay; she’d been there for Cosima in a way that she could not, tending to wounds that, for all of her credentials, she could not heal. As much as the idea of Cosima with another person makes her stomach churn, she just has to accept this and she does so gladly. Knowing that Cosima is here, sturdy and whole and more certain than ever before, is cause enough. They’ve both crossed through the flames, the heat of their trials molding them into something different than before. She isn’t certain what that something is just yet, but looking down into Cosima’s eyes, seeing her wondrous and most curious lover staring back at her with nothing but devotion, she’s certain thatwhatever it is, it will be enough.

 


End file.
